 Today is my daughter's birthday... She is my oldest, the first one to make me a "daddy". I love my two sons just a much, but there's something special about a "daughter/daddy" relationship. The same goes with my boys and the relationship they have with their mom. Today I took her out for a birthday lunch, just the two of us. We will do the family birthday dinner tomorrow night, but it was a great time for her and me to just hang out.
One of things I have on my repeating task list is to periodically ask my kids about their "bucket list". I've challenged each one of them to dream- about things they would like to own, places they would like to visit, things they would love to experience, and so on. I want to visit with them about their dreams so I can dream with them, and help support them in their pursuit of those dreams. That means planning for the future, setting priorities and sometimes making hard decisions in life. Why do I do it? I mean, I really do have enough on my own plate to keep me busy, and they are grown adults! I do it because I love them, and I want the very best for them. In a nutshell, isn't that what it means to discuss, plan for and engage the topic of home and health care with aging parents? We love them, and we want the very best for them. For a quality future, living where THEY want to live, it does require planning for the future, setting priorities and yes, sometimes making hard decisions. Why go through all of that? You know the answer to that question. Because you love them, and LOVE MATTERS! There are so many issues when it comes to caring for aging parents! I'd love to recommend a great resource for your consideration. Check out "Taking Care of Mom & Dad: A Beginner's Guide to Caring for Your Parents" (click link to check this out on Amazon). This fantastic resource was authored by 17 different Visiting Angels Franchise Owners from around the country, most of whom have a decade or more in the home care industry! Love is fulfilling, it's exciting and it's a part of who we are when we are at our best. But more than that, Love Matters, and love is worth the time and effort it takes from us to do it well. So get out there, and if your parent or parents are still living, have some of those conversation! Love Matters!
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 It is an real but sometimes unpleasant fact of life. As we age many of the things we were able to accomplish with ease in years past have now become more difficult. Everything from opening a jar to remembering where we parked the car or stored a special item is more of a challenge than it used to be!
Recently I co-authored a book with the directors of Visiting Angels of Tulsa, Visiting Angels of Bartlesville and Visiting Angels of SWOKC called "Life Hacks for Seniors: Tips and Tricks for Older Americans!" This book is chocked full of fun and creative ideas to make the lives of the seniors we care for a little easier to navigate. There are sections that focus on the unique challenges of dealing with a senior who has Alzheimer's or another form of dementia. There are also sections on Dressing Hacks, Exercise Hacks, Health Hacks, Kitchen Help Hacks, Memory Issue Hacks, Bathing/Toileting Hacks and a large section on Miscellaneous Life Hacks! These tricks and tips are simple, easy to do and/or explain and promise to make the life and activities of your wonderful senior less stressful! For the caregiver who is working as a CNA, Home Health Aide or personal caregiver this book can be an invaluable tool. The simple and fun techniques contained within this resource will create less challenging ways for dealing with the natural consequences that come from aging. As a bonus, the tips in this resource are fun too! You can click on the link below to order the resource from Amazon. If you enjoy it, we are happy to have made your life as a caregiver better, and to have increased the quality of life for your wonderful senior! As you discover new tips or tricks, pass those along to other caregivers to help them out! CLICK HERE TO ORDER THIS RESOURCE! Page Cole Visiting Angels of Tulsa Visiting Angels of Bartlesville Visiting Angels of SWOKC  One of the most real and difficult challenge many people face on a daily basis is anxiety. This is even more true for seniors and those who care for them. It comes as a result of so many different forces that impact daily life. It is critical that caregivers involved in the life of seniors help them successfully face and deal with these issues that cause anxiety, as well as managing their own issues.
Major life changes are a primary source of anxiety. Moving residences can be extremely stressful. Although aging in place is preferable, many seniors need at some point to transition to an assisted living facility, a skilled care facility, retirement community or move into the home of a loved one. Although this might provide a safer environment, a move from familiar surroundings into new living arrangements can be frightening or stressful. Caregivers are not immune to this kind of stress. Whether they are a family caregiver or a paid professional, the rigors and stress of daily living needs can be a major stressor as well. Another issue that brings stress are changing health concerns. Seniors and their caregivers alike are aging every day, and with age comes new health challenges and limitations. Things like failing eyesight, changes in medication and even the loss of a loved one to death can produce tremendous anxiousness. Changes in blood pressure or blood sugar, advancing dementia or other chronic conditions all carry stress as a side effect of those ailments. Although family is a great source of strength for many, it has the exact opposite effect in other family dynamics. Adult children from the Baby Boomer generation are nicknamed "The Sandwich Generation", because many times they find themselves "sandwiched" between the lives and schedules of their own children and caring for their elderly parents. Seniors can become anxious because they feel like they are being a burden. Caregivers stress because their time, energy and resources are being pulled in multiple directions. There are so many other stressors on the lives of seniors and their caregivers. Death of friends, worries about the future, financial pressure and even stress related to the pets in their lives can weigh down on seniors as well as their caregivers! With all of the anxiety and stress in the world, what can be done to help? Here are some basic suggestions for helping with anxiety:
Anxiety is a part of life. There is nothing we can do to avoid it. Together we can face it and diminish it's affect on our lives! If you need the help of a professional caregiver who is both experienced and trained in helping anxious seniors, why not give Visiting Angels a call? We would love to help! If you are a professional caregiver and would love to be a part of our team, assisting us in caring for seniors, we would love to hear from you too! Page Cole Visiting Angels of Tulsa Visiting Angels of Bartlesville Visiting Angels of SWOKC  It is no surprise to see the physical, emotional and mental fatigue that comes with the responsibility of caring for others. Every caregiver experiences that truth. But there is a fourth facet that goes unattended in many caregiving situations- faith fatigue.
Many people are very committed to the spiritual aspects of life, while others do not see much value in those issues. Regardless of the level of commitment to the spiritual aspects of life, we all have a need to refresh our inner being. Some accomplish this through participating in religious or church activities. Others choose to feed their soul with private meditation, music or acts of service. The issue of greatest importance is not "How" they are nurturing the "faith" portion of their life, but that they are in fact making an intentional effort to keep that part of their life balanced and healthy. Caregiving is a constant pouring out of one's own self into the needs of another. It just makes sense that if you are always pouring out your energy and heart, but not doing something to replenish your innermost needs that eventually you will feel empty or burned out. It is critical that each individual consistently tends to their own inner faith or spiritual needs so they are able to provide the highest level of quality care to those in need. What can you do? Attend religious services, spend time in meditation, read scriptures or religious writings are a few of those healthy options. Listening to edifying music or participating in spiritual events are also ways to feed one's soul. Finally, many individuals find that prayer or quiet contemplation are rejuvenating and can bring balance to their hearts and their soul. This article is not intended to be "preachy" or condescending in any way. It is simply a reminder that human beings are complex creatures, individuals with physical, emotional, mental, social and yes, spiritual needs. Take care of yourself people! You deserve it! Page Cole Visiting Angels of Tulsa Visiting Angels of Bartlesville Visiting Angels of SWOKC  It is important that as you "pour out" yourself into the nurture and service to others in need that you are also doing things that "fill your cup" so that you don't end up burned out and used up. Taking care of a loved one or working professionally as a caregiver can be extremely rewarding. Anyone who has done any amount of caregiving can testify this is true! At the same time, the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual stresses of being a caregiver can take their toll on you as well. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being "I'm doing great!", and 10 being "I'm burned out!", where would you rank yourself?
It's important that you stay healthy by staying fresh. Sometimes caregivers need to step away to recharge their batteries. That charge can come through whatever hobbies or recreational activities help you to relax and rejuvenate! Maybe you are a "craft" person who enjoys making things- then go do that! Possibly you are an outdoorsy type- then go for a hike or spend the afternoon at the park or botanical gardens! Others enjoy music or the arts- so treat yourself to some new music or a night at a performing arts center! Your health is vital if you are going to be the very best you can be when you are actively caregiving! Self-care is critical, and hobbies are one way to provide that care! You may find it provides more structure and accountability for you to regularly enjoy those hobbies if you find someone else to share them with you. Build relationships outside of your caregiving to stay positive. When you go golfing with a friend, or hit the stores with a shopping buddy it is actually therapeutic! Another person can help you unwind and destress from the pressures of caregiving! Who will you call the next time you need to get on your "Hobby Horse" and enjoy some relaxation time? I offer this suggestion with a warning. It is OK to bring your hobby into your caregiving if or when you think it could be positive. First, the care of the person you are helping is most important when you are providing assistance to them. You do not want to do anything that would be anything but beneficial or wholesome for them as well. Second, you also must make sure that you are allowing time outside of your caregiving to participate in your relaxing or refreshing hobby. It should never be something that only happens when you are with the care recipient. That all being said, for someone who loves gardening could find out that working in the garden with the care recipient that blesses both of them! Is there a hobby that you love that you could share with your care recipient, one that you both would enjoy? Remember, life is a journey... stay balanced. Burnout is normal among caregivers, regardless of whether they are being paid or a simply a family member or friend helping a loved one. Know your limits and know what the signs are that you could be nearing burnout. Now get out there and have some fun! If you would like more information about caregiving issues, or are interested in talking to us about one of our fantastic professional caregivers, contact the amazing people at Visiting Angels of Bartlesville! Page Cole Visiting Angels of Tulsa Visiting Angels of Bartlesville Visiting Angels of SWOKC  Burnout happens to most people who serve as caregiver at some point in their service. Whether you are a paid caregiver who serves in a caregiving role professionally, or a family member providing help to a parent or grandparent it is still bound to happen. Everyone working in the field of "caregiving" reaches a point of being drained, burned out and used up. How do caregivers deal with this issue of Burnout, and what can they do to restore things to a healthier state?
First, accept that you are not a bad person because you have reached a point of frustration or exhaustion. It is normal. When you give and give in taking care of someone else's needs it can be draining. That emptiness can manifest itself as depression, exhaustion, frustration or even anger. You are a wonderful person, but you are NOT indestructible. Next, seek out help if you need it. That help may come in the form of a well deserved break away from caregiving. This break could be a day, or it could be longer. Only you know how long you need to be refreshed. Just don't wait too long to make time for yourself as a caregiver. You are not able to provide the highest quality of assistance if you are overwhelmed. Your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual sides need to be recharged on a regular basis. Do what it takes to make room for personal rest and restoration in all four of those areas! What does that even look like? It means getting enough good, uninterrupted sleep each day. It means feeding your mind with a good book or other enjoyable things that challenge your mind. It means talking about your stress or other overwhelming emotions with someone who cares and encourages you. It also means spending time every day tending your spiritual needs- reading, meditating or praying are all positive practices to help your soul move to a point of joy and health. Finally, identify and isolate the things that seem to bring the most amount of stress in your situation. Look for creative ways to alleviate or avoid those most stressful issues or situations. If they are unavoidable, then talk with someone about techniques or behaviors you could use to minimize the impact that stress has on you. Caregiving is hard work. Anyone who has ever been a caregiver for long can testify that is true. But caregiving does not have to be a destructive event for the life of the caregiver. Keep your head up, and look for that outstretched hand offering you encouragement & hope! We are in this together! Page Cole Visiting Angels of Tulsa Visiting Angels of Bartlesville Visiting Angels of SWOKC  The seniors in our lives are among the most precious gifts we possess! Parents, grandparents, neighbors and friends, the elderly among us need and deserve our love and respect. Some of those providing the gift of care are family members who provide much needed assistance to a loved one. Others are paid professional caregiving aides who work in the home health or medical fields. Either way, it is hard not to fall in love with these wonderful people who are being cared for!
There are several very critical things to remember when it comes to caregiving and family. Handling these issues well is vital to the quality of life for the senior.
Understand your role as a caregiver. If you are a family member, you've taken on a huge responsibility. It can be full of both joy and heartache. If you are a paid professional or a volunteer, know that you have legal, ethical and even moral responsibilities to provide the very best care for your senior. They may not be your family, but you should care for them as if they were the dearest member of your own family. If you would like more information about caregiving issues as they relate to family matters, contact the amazing people at Visiting Angels of Tulsa! Visiting Angels of Bartlesville 1401 SE Washington Blvd. Bartlesville, OK 74003 www.visitingangels.com/bartlesville dritter@visitingangels.com |
AuthorPage Cole is a leader in home care in Oklahoma. He has published the following resources for Seniors- Archives
February 2022
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